Thursday, December 31, 2009


Moving from one year to another....what comes to mind?

First thing I thought of was how much difference a year makes. Last New Years Eve was one of the best ever. Dinner out at an amazing German restaurant, tickets to a play Jerry and I had been talking about seeing for not just years, but decades, and finally bringing in the New Year in the Grand Foyer of the Kennedy Center. We listened to music and we danced the old year away. This year I am spending my first New Years Eve in almost 40 years without someone to kiss at and wish a Happy New Year to at midnight. How did I end up here? Am I really so stupid that I didn't see it coming or is it just true that "Love is blind?"

Secondly, I wonder how long into the new year I will have to go before I feel I am on solid ground once again? Or is there even such a thing as solid ground? This is the year I will turn 60. It seems everyone around me, even those years younger are thinking retirement and finding time to do things they have been looking forward to but couldn't do because of time commitments that come with working. But instead of looking toward retirement I seem to be suddenly working harder than ever and with seemingly no end in sight. Dreams I looked forward to making come true now seem farther away then ever. How did I get here? Will there be new reachable dreams? Or is it true that "Life is to short?"

There are only 30 minutes left in 2009.....what will 2010 bring? I don't have a clue. I guess that is one thing that remains constant. None of us have been granted a crystal ball. As 2009 ended while we were at the Kennedy Center I had no idea the challenges that 2009 would bring. I had no idea the joys it would bring. Nor did I have any idea the heartaches it would bring. Going into 2010 I can only take each day at a time. Asking that God grant me the grace to deal with what ever comes my way be it challenges, joys or heartaches. I do wish though that he had physical arms to reach down and hold me with. Ones I could actually feel. I now realize more than ever how important human touch is. Never again will I take it for granted.


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