Friday, July 25, 2014


Life it seems is full of dilemmas. I am trying so hard to be fiscally responsible. I don't want to spend money before I have it. But neither do I want to be alone. BUT how do I go out and be with people without spending money. Inviting people in is not the answer. That is even more expensive. So I sit home alone. Yes music at the squares is free. But I have been there often and pretty much everyone there is part of a couple. So my options are go to a bar, $$$, or as someone suggested if you don't want to drink go to Starbucks or Panara. They are both more expensive than bars. Booze is cheap in The Villages. Don't get me wrong. I like my life in The Villages. I just hope that some day I might love it. I just want to not be alone.

As a PS  I guess I need to add that I think having to go out and sit in bars to not be alone is pretty pitiful. So  I sit home alone most nights. Yep contrary to popular opinion most nights that is my life.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014


It's been  some time since I have posted a quote here. When I did so it was usually a quote that has meant something in a current circumstance of my life or said something that I needed to think about and wanted a place to record it so I could come back to the thought.

This is what I read today in part of my devotional reading. It is something I need to think on and mull over. Its a quote from the author Flaubert. He was referring to what he saw as a division between God and man.

 " He in heaven is responsible for the beginning and the end. We on earth are responsible for the in-between."

Friday, July 18, 2014


It's time for another weekend. In my life that is not a big thing. When one works retail there is no such thing as a weekend. Work can happen any day. At least in my case, though I am not guaranteed a weekend, I do get a guaranteed Sunday. The store I work at is actually closed on Sunday.

At the moment since "snowbirds" have gone north for the summer I do get Saturdays off unless there is  a big sale. All that means for me though is more time alone.  I  can go out, but lately that is worse than staying at home. At least at home I expect to be alone and I am alone, alone. When I go out to squares for music or to bars for a drink I end up alone in the midst of a crowd of people who are with someone. That really hurts. So I don't do it often.

Tonight is an evening of all the chic flicks on Friday night TV. So far PS I Love You and now it's Sleepless in Seattle. Ah true love...can it ever be found? Is it found for someone over 30?  Can it be found after its been lost?  Or is true love a figment of Hollywood's imagination? I think I will just go get another glass of wine and get ready for another weekend.

Saturday, July 12, 2014


I attended a concert at my church tonight. Technically it wasn't the best concert I have attended, but it was wonderful the less. It was a Fred Waring Reunion concert. I have a long history with Fred Waring arrangements. Mainly through church choir music. But I also remember my mom talking about Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians. I would have loved to be able to share the concert with her. All the singers and musicians had at one time sang with Fred Waring. The oldest was an 87 year old gentlemen. He sang with such spirit.

The program began with a video on the history of Fred Waring and his impact on the music scene in the US.  It was quite interesting and I learned that he was responsible for the Waring blender I got from my parents in 1983 when they moved to FL. He really was quite an amazing person.

I've always known that I have a strong emotional response to music. I not only hear it, but I actually feel it. I can loose my self in music and it is one of the few things that can actually move me to tears. As I listened to the music tonight I found my self quietly singing along with a number of the songs. I also found myself uplifted and at times becoming mournful for love that was lost. The did several favorites for me including The Impossible Dream from Man of LaMancha. . All in all it was quite an emotional evening. Not at all what I expected. 

Did I learn anything from the evening.....YES....I've added another item to to growing list of things I am looking for should I ever have a relationship once again. I would like a man who can share in my love of music and if not share in the feeling of the music, at least understand my emotional response to music and my feeling it.

I just had to post the album I found while searching You Tube for Fred Waring. It is the album I grew up with at Christmas and thought I would never hear again. What memories. Now I can come to my BLOG and listen to it when I want.....How wonderful,

Fred Waring and the Pennsylvanians -- The Sounds of Christmas

Tuesday, July 01, 2014


Half of 2014 is now gone. On into the second half I go. What will it bring? More of the same? Something new? Will it be a happy time, a sad time, a time of challenges, or a bit of all the above?  I don't have a crystal ball to foretell my future. Truth be told I don't think I would want to know anyway. Especially if knowing the future didn't mean I could change it. So there is another question: Can my future be  changed?  I don't know. Do you? One thing I know for sure is I can't  change my past.  It is over and done with. It can be celebrated, regretted, or  learned from but not changed. Maybe the issue is not to dwell in the past or fret about the future, but to just live fully and the best I can in the present.