CHRISTMAS CELEBRATIONS

What a wonderful afternoon and evening.  I was invited by a friend to go down to the National Cathedral in Washington DC to hear a performance of Handel's Messiah.  The whole thing.  All 3 hours of it!!!  But it was worth sitting that long.  At least we got to stand during the Hallelujah Chorus.  Our seat were in the back balcony which put us a long way away from the musicians, but that was okay the sound was great and the view was fantastic!  This picture doesn't do the view justice, but you can see how far back we were.  The acoustics are not concert hall quality, but it was amazing hearing Handel's music in the Cathedral setting. 

It was dark by the time we left the concert and I love the way the Cathedral is lit at night.  It's really hard to get a picture without a tripod, but I did my best. We were lucky and stumbled upon a parking space right behind the Cathedral that was free.  It would have been warmer parking in the underground garage, but it comes with a price and you do still have to walk outside for a while.  It was much easier walking back to the car after the concert. It was down hill and we were walking with the wind rather than into it.  Boy I hope it is not this cold all winter. 

On our way home we stopped in Bethesda for a quick dinner.  By the time we got there the wind was really blowing and we were very happy we found a restaurant just outside the parking garage! 

Secret Shop, hearing the Messiah, and the cold......despite myself I am getting into the Christmas spirit!  Tomorrow night a holiday party at quilt guild meeting and then a special Christmas luncheon on Weds with girl friends.  Yes it is that season!

LOTS OF WORK & LOTS OF MEMORIES

What a week.....lots of prep and finalizing for the Secret Shop at church today.  Also what a lot of memories of past Secret Shops. 
You might be asking what is a Secret Shop????  It's a special Christmas shopping experience for children.  One where they can shop with the help of their own personal "shopping Elf" for their family and friends.  They do so in secret making their own choices so there are some Christmas surprises they give to those they love.  Of course I'm sure there are some loved ones that are a bit confused by the present they have been given when it was chosen by a 3 year old who really did not want "elfish " advise concerning their choice of a stuffed teddy bear for grandpa.

 Covenant UMC's Secret Shop was begun over 25 years ago. It is one of the few programs that has continued without interruption t the church from its inception.  The kids love it and the money raised goes to help programs related to children both locally and around the world.  Most items available to be purchased have been handmade but crafting elves who work throughout the year.  There's always a panic come the first of November that there will not be enough to satisfy demand, but there always is. 

This year we had just under 100 children shop.  These are children between 3 and 11 and they are all shopping and having their packages wrapped during a 3 hour time period.  Yes it is a bit crazy at times!  While the children shop mom and dad or who ever brought them get to hang out in a "parent's waiting room" and munch on goodies washed down with coffee, tea, orange juice or cider.  This year we had the extra excitement of the new Covenant Cooks II cookbook with literally hot off the presses having arrived the previous day!  Yummy recipes from some great cooks!  Methodists are renowned for their potluck dinners and love of eating!!!!!!!

Yes it was a very busy and very tiring day, but is was also filled with wonderful memories of the preceding 28 or so Secret Shops including those my children took part in.  I shared one memory with Stephanie tonight.  Santa used to visit the Secret Shop and one year after sitting on Santa's lap for a picture Stephanie pulled me aside and very firmly announced that "that was not really Santa, but Mr. Koch"  I don't remember exactly how old she was, but I don;t think it was more that 4 or 5.  As she said tonight she was already incredibly smart and observant at a very early age.....yep that's my GIRL! 

I'm not sure where all the years have gone to, but they have flown by.  Life is not what I expected it to be at this point, but I am so happy that I still have my memories of  wonderful Christmases past.  I hope in time to begin once again making wonderful memories that I will fondly look back on with a smile on my face. 

28 DAYS!

Yep that's right only 28 days till Christmas!  I wasn't going to put up a tree or decorate this year for a variety of what I first thought were valid reasons, but sanity kicked in while spending time with the kids on Thanksgiving.  As you can see I do have a tree.  It's only a small one but it is a size I can handle on my own.  I do like it.  This is the first time ever that the tree is in the living room and can be seen from the street.  For the next month the living room will be my sanctuary from the business of the season.  I hope it will be a place that will keep me in touch with the true reason we celebrate Christmas.  It is the time of year we remember that God came down and lived among us on earth beginning with the birth of a baby in Bethlehem. 

ANOTHER THANKSGIVING DAY IS OVER

Thanksgiving 2010 is pretty much history.  I should be in bed asleep resting up for a day at work tomorrow, but I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on the day.
Thanksgiving is a day when not only most Americans over eat, but more importantly we reflect back on the blessings of the past year and give thanks for them.  I did have a wonderful day with Jeremy, Nate, and Lindsay.  I got to talk with Stephanie and my mom, sister and her family.  For these things I am grateful.  I would have talked with my brother and his wife, but they are off on a weekend in northern MI.  Other friends I greeted via the Internet.
Even with everything going on during the day I did take time both this morning and again after our Thanksgiving dinner to look back over the year past year seeking things to give thanks for.  I'm not going to try and pretend it hasn't been a difficult year in many ways, but I did find much to be thankful for.  Of course I am very thankful for my children and the rest of my family.  Also for my many friends who have shown their love and support in many ways.  I am thankful for each of my jobs and the people I work with at each of them. I can honestly say there is not a one of my fellow employees or bosses that I do not enjoy being with.  I am extremely thankful that when I fell and broke my collarbone and needed stitches over my eye that that is the only damage I did to myself.  It could have been so much worse. 
The thing that I am most thankful for this year is a growing relationship with God.  Through a variety of means including daily devotional readings, bible study and prayer I am learning more about his unconditional love for me.  A love so deep and passionate that I have a hard time comprehending its fullness.  I am learning to lean on him and trust him and his direction.   The hardest part is I am having to learn to be patient to accept his timing in my life and believe that he does have a plan for where my life is headed. 
Thanksgiving for all of life's blessings is something that should take place each and every day.  Not just on the fourth Thursday of November.  I pray that I can remember this. I want to spend time each day looking for the blessing contained there in.  For no matter how bad a day might look on the surface there are always many things to be grateful for.  I want an attitude of gratitude!

IT'S OFFICIAL!

Ah, after all these years of frustration and confusion it is now official I am normal!!!
You are probably wondering what on earth is she yamering about now? 
This morning I woke up to a story on NPR's Morning Edition program talking about people going in circles.  OK, so they were talking about when people are blindfolded they may think they are walking in a straight line but after about 20 or so steps they actually begin to naturally walk in circles.   But....I choose to take comfort in the fact that it is natural for people to go in circles what ever the reason or the means by which they do so. 

WHERE DO YOU FALL?

Balance in life, where do you fall along the continuum of activity?  At one end there is little activity or involvement in life.  At the other there is so much activity there is no time to breathe.  Being on either extreme is not good for us.  We need balance.  Chances are if you are like me you move somewhere along the continuum on a daily basis.  Hopefully unlike me you have learned how to avoid the two extremes.  I am trying to work on avoiding the extremes. 
For the most part I think I stay away from the inactive end of the spectrum  at this point of my life. This is not necessarily good thing however because it does not mean that I am spending more time in the middle.  In actuality most my friends would tell you I spend way to much time out of the fringe of over commitment. I can give all sorts of justifications for this, but in truth none of them are anything but excuses. 
My morning devotions included a quote from Patsy Clairmont, one of my favorite Women of Faith.

"Doing too much is as dangerous as doing nothing at all.  Both modes present us from savoring our moments.  One causes me to rush right past the best of life without recognizing or basking in it, and the other finds me sitting quietly as life rushes past me."

So where do you fall activity of life continuum?  To the right?  To the left?  Or maybe you are blessed and have already learned the joys and benefits of a life spent roaming around in the middle.  I pray as I move toward 2011 I will do a better job of learning to live and experience life in the middle. 

ANOTHER QUOTE TO THINK ON

It's been a while that I have run across a quote that I  have wanted to record here  so I can refer back to it over time and also to share with those who happen to stop by.  I found one today in my reading.  It is by Corrie ten Boom.  Corrie was an amazing person from an amazing family.  If you would like to learn more about her you can click on her name above.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. 

~~Corrie ten Boom

Good advice to never forget.

TODAY IS INDEED BETTER!

Sorry about last night, but sometimes pressure just needs to be released. 
Yes today is a brighter day.  The sun is out and well it is warming up...slowly.
Today is one of those disjointed days however.  It is a day that I know will be steeped in celebration of life.  Celebration that on one coast will be full of joy and new beginnings.  A celebration of a new marriage and love that brings with it promises and dreams for a future as a new family unit. Also a celebration on the other side of North America, I say that because it is in Western Canada, that will be full of tears and good byes as a friend buries a loved husband and her children mourn the passing of their father and a family unit is changed forever. This I am sure will also be celebration of the love they all shared. It will be a celebration of the faithful and full, though too short life, of husband and father.  Yes there will be tears but from what I know of this family, though we have never personally met, there will be joy and laughter as they recall memories of that life.
So today is a day of celebration. It is a day to celebrate love and also to embrace loss knowing that God is with us through both.  Both Bryan and Kristen; and Edith and her family will be in my prayers today. 

NO POSTING!

Nope I will not post anything tonight as I started the evening after work feeling rather alone.  Made the mistake of openning a bottle of brandy and watching too much TV, movies and reading too many magazines; and seeing happy couples everywhere.  Not a good combination especially when facing another wedding and watching another couple vowing to love and care for each other till death do them part tomorrow.  See I told you I should not be posting tonight!

On top of it all it's COLD!

Addendum:  Sorry about the above, but sometime I just plain get tired of pretending everything is ok and I am happy!  Tomorrow I'm sure will be a better day or at least next week will be.

YEP, IT MIGHT AS WELL BE WINTER

Sigh.....5:30pm and it was pitch dark!  I so am not interested in it being winter.  I think it would be much better if humans could go into hibernation like bears do during the winter.  Think of all the money and resources we would save. 

WINTER IS COMING

The sun has been out which helps warm the air but there are definite signs that winter is coming.  Despite the sun temps have been in the low 50's and at night we are well into the 30's.  We have had frosts and even freezes!  Snow flurries were in the forecast for tonight but I think blessedly they have been removed.  I am so not ready for another winter, but I guess whether or not I want it, it will come.
I haven't been eating particularly well the last month or so. Eating alone is one thing I hate to do.  When I got home for the Arts and Craft Festival which was held at our church today I decided in honor of the cool weather and in trying to entice myself to eat I would make a pot of chili.  It sure smells good, but of course now I have a pot of chili that I used to make for five that now will be eaten over and over since it will only be for one.  Good thing I like it!  Same with the corn bread.  I had hoped by now I would figure out how to cook for one, but it doesn't seem to be happening.  Eating has never been very important to me.  It seems to me it is more important as a social event than one to feed the body.  It's hard to be sociable when alone.  Some can do it I guess, but not me. 
Other than eating it was a good day.  I got to spend it with people in a sociable setting. I also got to make some money and it is incredibly affirming to have people comment on the things I make.  It's nice if they purchase something, but I think it may even be better when they simply affirm what I make as being something they enjoy looking at and its being of value.  I thank God for the talent and skill he has given me and that I have some opportunities to share it with others. 

INTERESTING WORDS

Tomorrow is election day. Around the country we have been inundated  with a war of words.  In light of this I found the opening sentences of today's bible study very interesting.  Once again these are from Let God Love You, by Lloyd Ogilvie.

"There is a new distrust of words, speech making, and theorizing which pervades our time.  Our despair today is expressed in the demise of innocent trust in what people say.  A man's word is no longer sacred. Cynicism, criticism, and complaining pollute the atmosphere. Our nation longs to hope again and yet the diminutive gods in which we have placed our hope in cultures, institutions, and government have fallen from the throne of inerrancy."

What I find interesting in this statement is that it sounds so current.  Yet it was written in 1974!  How sad, over 30 years and the trust in and value of words spoken is no better.  It may be even worse.  Today words are cheap.  At best, at least in the political realm, the only power they seem to have is to tear down and destroy.  

 

Promises made, for the most part, are only made for momentary gain.  In today's climate of  doing what is best for oneself, promises even when made with the best of intentions can easily be just walked away from.  Promises are only words and words have no lasting meaning.  

I am concerned about tomorrows electoral outcome. Not so much as to whether the Democrats, Republicans, or Tea Party candidates win.  What I am worried about is that despite who wins, the war with worthless words and promises will go on and that we as a nation will become so bogged down in worthless rhetoric and name calling that people will continue to lose their jobs, homes, health care, and hope. 

That all said....please do go out and VOTE tomorrow.  It may seem a pointless and futile effort, but we can't give up.  Just remember to vote not on the basis of the words spoken by the candidate, but really think about what direction you would like to see our country move in.  I pray we will move forward and not back.  I pray that somewhere out there is some sanity and some people who still believes that a man's word and promises are sacred, not just vehicles for momentary self gain and profit.

JUST SOME THINGS TO MULL OVER.....AND THINK ON

It certainly seems lately like lots of things to think about are coming up in my devotional readings.  I suspect this is a good thing.  Part of what I do every morning is read a chapter from Lloyd Ogilvie's book Let God Love You.  It is a study of Phillipians.  I think I may actually have mentioned this book in an earlier post.

This mornings reading had several passages that I would like both to offer up for thought to anyone who might actually read them. (Also to record here so I can find them again to think on them myself if I should happen to forget them.) 

• "We can lose any faculty we refuse to use.  The sin against the Holy Spirit is the sin of so often and so consistently refusing God's will that in the end it can not be recognized when it comes even fully displayed."
• "Think of the ways we frustrate God's plan for us.  Consider what the arrogance of trying to live on our own resources does to us and to the people around us. What about our feverish efforts to stuff our lives with so much activity that there is no time left to ask God what he wants us to do?"
• "Obedience to our Lord is the continuous new beginnings of unpredictable new possibilities."

So what do you think?

THINKING.......

If you can forgive the person you were,

accept the person you are, and

believe in the person you will become,

you are headed for joy.  So celebrate your life. 

 

I've been thinking a lot about this quote from my last post. 

The part I get hung up on is "believe in the person you will become"..My fear is that I don't know how to become who I am meant to be.  I have spent so much of my life trying to become the person everyone else thought I should be or want me to be.I wonder if I ever knew who I wanted to be. I've been a daughter, a wife, a mother. I've been a student, a teacher, an accountant and a homemaker.  I don't regret any of those roles in my life, but for the most part the active participation in each of those roles is over.  So who am I going to become from this time forward?  Who will I be in the future?   In my devotional readings and bible studies.  I keep reading that ultimately I should strive to become the person God has created me to be.  Do I have the courage and strength to seek out who that woman is?  Who am I and who will I become?  One thing I need to believe and trust is that God made me and he loves me unconditionally for who I am.  So whoever I am and who ever I become in the future if I trust God and put myself in his hands it has to be good and it has to lead to joy.

BARBARA JOHNSON WISDOM

There were several years that I attended the Women of Faith conference in Philadelphia.  It was a wonderful weekend of praise, worship and inspiration.  It was also was a wonderful weekend with girl friends.  I was never fortunate enough to hear Babara Johnson speak.  She was one of the original group of women who started these conference.  By the time I heard of the gatherings she had already had to drop out of active participation due to health issues.  I have however read several of her books. She is a very humorous writer.  Her life has not been an easy one.  There were many disappointments and tragedies in it, but she never gave up her humor or her her faith in a God who loved her beyond measure.  Probably more important than the humor in her writing is her inspiration.

My devotional reading this morning contained a quote from her.  One that I am placing here so I can come back and find it  when I need a reminder.

If you can forgive the person you were,

accept the person you are, and

believe in the person you will become,

you are headed for joy.  So celebrate your life.

I pray with God's love, help and guidance I am headed for joy!

I'M FREE!!!!!!

I am free.  Finally out of the harness that was keeping me from doing things for myself and was rubbing my underarms raw.  Actually I've been out of it since yesterday.  It truly is a wonderfully freeing thing.  I can now change my clothes and shower at will.  Never will I take those activities for granted again!  Of course as with everything there is a downside.  Not having the support of the harness, things are a bit more painful, but nothing I can't handle.  Hey what's another pain in my life?  I'm just adding them to the list.  I thank God for Aleve during the day and Vicodin at night. 

I even went back to work at McPadnett for 3 hours today and will be at the quilt shop for 4 hours tomorrow.  It's nice to be earning a bit more money once again and it is nice to be back among those work associates.  I went back to doing things at church last week and that was equally nice.  So though healing still has a long way to go I am officially declaring this event of my life closed.  Though I'm not back to full speed and won't be for a while yet there really isn't anything I can't do as long as I am careful.  Well, I would enjoy a nice glass of red wine, but that will have to wait till I get off the Vicodin.  I will use that as incentive. 

So what will the next challenge be?  What ever it is I hope it doesn't come around for a few weeks anyway.  I would like life to settle back to at least a dull roar for a short while anyway.

LONG 2 WEEKS

Its been a long two weeks since I've been here. There has been some progress on the collarbone front, but being the impatient person I am not as much as I would like.  I though there was more but pain took over after too many days of stubbornly thinking I could do more things than I probably should have and I am back in my lazy boy chair keeping things supported and still.  Yes boredom has set in and I am ready to get back to my normal busy hectic life.  Alas that will not happen yet.  So I wait.

I awoke this morning not in a happy contented mood.  It is Friday morning.  I should be at Panara's with my beloved "Bagel Group" of friends gabbing about events of the past week and of course eating bagels and drinking too much coffee. Unfortunately due to weather event of yesterday, way too much rain, my much needed shower and clothes change was put off till later this morning.  I am not fit for public appearances at the moment.  Totally my vanity I realize, but after wearing and sleeping in the same cloths for 5 days...well you get the picture.  Then there was the little matter of waking up and realizing that 4 of my girlfriends would be gathering together for a fun filled weekend in Myrtle Beach and I wouldn't be with them....yes I was having a pity party this morning.  Not a good way to start a day I know.  It was my decision not to go because the length of the drive and risk on yet again over doing, but that doesn't make it a whole lot easier to know that there will be lots of fun and laughter that I will be missing out on.  It was a trip that had been anticipated for months.

Now there was good going on this morning as well.  It was raining so hard last night that I chose not to take the garbage out for pick up. I couldn't put a raincoat on by myself and didn't really feel like sleeping in wet clothes that I couldn't change. It stopped raining some time during the night and I did wake up early enough that I was able to get the garbage out this morning.  So that was a good thing.

Then there were my devotional readings for the morning.  Yes, God can be good with his messages for us and sometimes he even can hit us over the head with the proverbial 2 by 4.  The thought for today in one of my readings is:

Attitude is contagious. Is yours worth catching?

Oops....time for an attitude readjustment.  Then I remembered a thought from the DVD I had been previewing yesterday in preparation for a study I will begin leading Monday morning:

Things could be worse!

So today I will get my thoughts back to an attitude of gratitude and if nothing else be grateful for my lazy boy chair, that I seem to be able to crochet without pain, and a boat lead of ladder yarn that I can crochet into beautiful necklaces. Oh and thanks to a wonderful friend I will get a shower, hair washed and clothes changes so this afternoon I can once again go out in pubic.  Life is good and God is even better!

I CAN DO THINGS!

So, due to a broken collarbone and immobilized arm I can't sew or quilt, but daily I am discovering things I can do.  The most exciting discovery today was that with care and a bit slower than usual I can knit.  I always had assumed I knit left handed.  I think at one time I did, but a few months ago when trying to follow some written and drawn out illustrations on knitting socks left handed I discovered, no, I do not knit left handed I knit right handed.  This means my left hand basically just holds the needle and my right hand does all the work.  YEA!  I gave it a try and it worked.  Like I said the process was slower than usual and it was a tiny bit painful at times if I moved the wrong way or to quickly, but I CAN KNIT!!!!!  Dare I say life is good and God is good?

What am I working on?  Nothing so grand right now as socks.  I'm making dish cloths and maybe I will progress to preemie baby blankets.  Yes life is good!

QUILTING QUOTE

"Quilts have an amazing power to soothe the soul and help us through the rough spots in our lives.  Make time to quilt every day and you'll be richly rewarded.  Always remember that quilting is not just a hobby, it's a lifestyle!" 

~~Liz Schwartz editor of Quilter magazine.

So the question becomes "what does one do when she can't do what brought peace and relaxation during the rough spots in her life???"  Crafting has been my release for stress and sadness this year and now that also is denied me.  At least I can still read magazines and have a large stack to go through.  I will try to be content with dreaming about projects I may get to do in the future.  At least this incapacity is only of a temporary nature.

My mantra right now..........this too shall pass.............................but I also share in the biblical lament.....How long Lord?

SEPTEMBER

I can hardly believe that it is already September. (In fact it has been so now for 5 days.) Another season, summer, is gone.  That means it is now fall.  That means another winter is not far behind.  That means another year will have passed.  I guess this is good.  It means another new beginning is waiting in the wings..  But in reality I don't need to wait till January for a new beginning do I.  I can start today.  I can start fresh each day if I so choose. 

This morning I had a strong sense of watching a new day be born.  I'm not sure why I felt this so strongly this morning. Maybe it is partly because it is September and now fall. The sun suddenly doesn't rise as early as in August. I was up at 6:45 this morning and the moon was out and it was still very dark.  So for the first time in many months I watched a new day be born.  A beginning of a new day.

So what will this new day be.  I know what it will be for some others.  For Jon and Taylor it will be the day they begin their new life together as husband and wife.  For Malory it will be the day she heads off to begin and new job on a new continent.  But what will this new day be for me?  I don't yet know.  According to one of the scriptures I read from today's lectionary though I don't yet know God does.  In fact the reading tells me he knows all my days. Psalm 139: 16.  "In your [God's] book are written all the days that were formed for me.when none of them as yet existed."  What does he know about my future?  If  I could know my future would I truly want to?  I think some things yes, other things probably not.  Its probably better that only God knows and I discover it as it unfolds. So as the world, at least the world here in Austin, TX, wakens I will wait with anticipation to see what today's new beginning will be for me.

Yes, it is a new season.  It is now September. It is now fall.  I will endeavor to make the most of each day as it arrives and if I stumble or fall along the way I pray, with God and the help of family and friends, I can pick myself up and begin again to move forward to the future God has written for me.

Post Script:  Just went and read this mornings  Upper Room devotion.  The last line was: "...no matter where we begin, if we allow God to form us and mold us, we can make a difference in the world for God."