Tuesday, May 18, 2010


This morning as I was waking up I found myself thinking of what a difference one small year can make in a persons and a families life. May 2009 to May 2010 was definitely not a static year by any means. It was a year full of joys, excitement, sadness, regrets, and surprises on many fronts. Never in my wildest imagination on May 18, 2009 would I have thought I would be where I am today May 18, 2010. I guess some years are like that. Others pass by almost unnoticed with little change, though as I get older there seem to be fewer of those.

One year ago today there were two rather significant things occurring. One was very exciting; Jerry and I had pretty much finished the planning and were anticipating leaving in 4 days for a dream vacation (at least for me it was) a two week trip to Alaska. The first week on the Radiance of the Seas a beautiful RCI ship the second on a land tour visiting parts of interior Alaska including Denali National Park. That was the good and exciting thing of last year at this time. The other that came to my mind was that last year at this time I could barely move, and what movement I did have was accompanied by a great deal of pain. After a 20 year remission my RA had decided to make itself known once again.

So what's the difference this year? Well the positive and good thing is with the help of pharmaceuticals I can move again. Now pretty much pain free with just some morning stiffness on random days. That in and of itself give the last year a positive tilt. As for travel plans there is not so much of a positive outcome. There will be no grand trip this year. At best there will be a small trip here and there and only I will be involved with them. I don't so much mind the absence of a grand trip. Those can't be done every year, for one thing if they happened every year they would lose their grandness and just become another trip, but for me travel is something to be shared with another person. It's the sharing in the excitement of planning and the sharing of the trip that makes it fun and adventurous. Traveling alone has never really appealed to me in fact I find it a rather sad and lonely experience.

It is another life change from the past year that has brought about my travel planning to now being on my own. A year ago I was sharing my life with my life partner. Today I am sharing my life with no one. Oh there are other family members and many friends, but that is not the same. They all have their own lives. When you are married it's like your life together is a circle and you are two dots inside that circle. Your circle can rest up against the circles of your friends and other family members , but it only rests on the edge of their circle it doesn't enter into it because they have their own circle of life that takes priority, which is the way it should be, When you are alone. There is no one in your circle anymore and the best you can do is rest up against the lives of others, but you are not together with anyone. Not sure if that makes any sense to any one but me, but I know what I mean and am feeling. I guess this relationship loss is the area where many regrets come in, but regrets serve no purpose so I will work to make a new life with what God grants me on a daily basis. Do I know where I will be in another year--no. I Don't know where I will be in May of 2011 anymore than I knew where I would be now in May 2009.

There still were more big changes from 2009 to 2010. Job changes occurred. There was the lose of a job held for 11 years and the picking up of two new jobs. More hours and less pay, but overall I guess though unexpected as of May 2009 this was an okay change. I do enjoy my two new jobs though they are more tiring, but also less stressful.

The best unexpected change from 2009 to 2010 is I have a new daughter-in-law. A year ago to the best of my knowledge Nate wasn't even dating! Now he has wonderful new wife! Isn't she beautiful? And her whole being is just as beautiful. Now don't get me wrong, Nate is just as handsome as Lindsay is beautiful. Together they make a wonderful couple and I pray that with God by there side they will never have any regrets and that they will grow in their love.

So exciting trips that are no more, job changes, separation and aloneness, new family members.....yes lots of changes occurred in the past 12 months. Life does not stand still, but I am ready for a calmer quieter season. I'm not sure that will happen any more than I am sure where I will be come May 2011. I have often heard that the only thing guaranteed in our life is change. I guess that is true. I've also heard that the only true failure in life is a risk not taken. I'm not one that embraces risk well, but maybe I need to learn to do that more. Can you teach old dogs new tricks????

Oh, I almost forgot. The title of this rather long ponderous BLOG entry indicated an hour can make a change also; and it has. After pondering all the above while lying in bed during the early morning hours and I admit getting a little melancholy I got up and as I usually do checked my morning e-mail while eating breakfast. Maybe there is an exciting trip in my future come July. One of my e-mails informed me that my quilt, Good Things Come in Small Boxes, has been accepted to be part of the American Quilt Society show in Knoxville, TN. It probably will be a trip I will take on my own, but I will have a quilt to go visit while on it. This could be exciting............anyone want to go to Knoxville??????

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