AGAIN ON TIME

I sit here in my lazy-boy chair and look across the room at a picture of my kids when they were in elementary school I wonder not only were did the time go, but was that really part of my life? It seems so remote. Did I ever really have children that young? Weren't they always young adults?

I have never really longed to go back in time, but tonight I find myself wistfully remembering times when we were a family of five, actually six counting Mr Snuggles, laughing and sharing together in a family life never again to be experienced.

Where did the time go?

DREAMIN'

It's fall the days are getting shorter and I find that so sad! I miss the long sunny days. But at the same time there is a stillness and peacefulness that seems to come with the shorter days. Things seem to have finally slowed down for a bit. And with that slowing I find myself taking time to dream. To dream of future travel and vacation possibilities. I dream of foreign places, cruises to exciting ports, and fun and lively places like Disney World. I dream of a vacation full of exciting new experiences and at the same time I dream of a vacation that is filled with nothing more than a good book, a journal and maybe my sewing machine. I know many of these travel dreams will never come true and part of me finds that understanding to be a very sad one. On the other hand not all dreams are meant to come true their joy is found in the ability to dream. At least that's what I tell myself.....

DEATH

I knew very early in the life of this year that it was going to be one of those years that would not be good to life and whether that became a self fulfilling prophesy or just was a correct premonition I don't know, but it has turned out to be true.

To date I have mailed out seven sympathy cards and I know that there have been a feew I should have sent, but for what ever reason did not. Now after yesterdays e-mails and phone calls I have 3 more to send! maybe it is my age and this is a new phase of life I'm entering into. Many of the cards have been in response to deaths of friends parents. But a few have been to people my age offering them my sympathy on the death of a spouse (who was also my age!). If it is the phase of life I am in now I DON'T particularly like it and I'm afraid things won't get much better with time.

I have a friend who firmly believes this is all a result of Satin trying to cause us to fall into a state of depression and belief that God has abandoned us, thus causing us to give up on God, his love for us and our faith in him. I'm not sure that I buy into this line of thought, but it is at times tempting to blame God for all this pain and suffering I see around me.

However, rather, than blaming God I guess I see this as just a fact of life. Part of living is knowing that some time we will die. This is one of the few certain guarantees life offers us. Be it from old age, disease or accident death is a guaranteed part of life. No one can avoid or evade it. We all hope and wish dealing with death; be it of a parent, a spouse, a child or even ourselves, will be part of our live later rather than sooner but sometimes that just is not our reality.

So I will continue to make and mail sympathy cards. And I will do my best to remember all those dealing with the emotions and tears brought on by a death in their family in my prayers. God is responsible for all creation and so yes this does mean he is responsible for all death, but not in a mean uncaring way. He is all loving and I believe he cries with each and every one of us as we mourn the lose of a loved one.

INSOMNIA

So what does one do when one can't get back to sleep and it's 5AM and you've already been lying in bed awake for an hour? See below......Of course you get out of bed and BLOG about insomnia!

Did you know there is a band called Insomnia and of course there are many definitions of insomnia out on the web.

"Insomnia — Sleep problems characterized by difficulty falling asleep, frequent wakings during the night, or waking up earlier than desired. Insomnia can result in getting up in the morning feeling unrested and experiencing drowsiness during the day."

"Insomnia \In*som"ni*a\, n. [L., fr. insomnis sleepless; pref.
 in- not + somnus sleep.]
 Want of sleep; inability to sleep; wakefulness;
 sleeplessness."

"Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time."

"Clinically, acute insomnia occurs acutely in either a transient or short term form. Transient insomnia is defined as a few nights sleep disturbance possibly due to unrelieved pain, fever, or an acute event that is not necessarily related to illness.
Short term insomnia is defined as lasting one or two weeks and is usually associated with a precipitant condition which lasts a bit longer than an acute stressor such as job loss.
Chronic insomnia is defined as occurring an average of 3 or more nights per week for more than one month."

WOW! Its Been Two and a Half Months!

They say "time flies when you're having fun". Well if that is true I must be having a whole lot of FUN! I can hardly believe that is has been 2-1/2 months since we were on vacation. Actually I have been having lots of fun since July 2. Since then I've finished up with our family vacation. I've been to Denver for the Stampin' Up! convention. Jerry and I visited my mom and sister in Chapel Hill, NC and on the same trip toured some Civil War battle sites around Petersburg, VA. I've been to a quilt show in Harrisburg, PA and to the Women of Faith Conference in Philadelphia. And those were just the trips I've been on. There's also been a week of Vacation Bible School at church, the county fair, a big church picnic and the church women's second annual tea party. Of course mixed in with all that was working at church and at home!

So, in retrospect I guess it is not at all surprising that time has just flown by this past summer. IT was fun. There are lots of memories. But I am thinking that I hope October will be a clam quite kind of month. September is too far gone to be quite and before November and all the holiday season activities start I think I just might need a rest!

Schroeder

Check out this town in MN along MN-61 on the west shore of Lake Superior. I think my families been holding out on me, especially as we continued north to Grand Marias I found a Realtor sign on a house for sale from Parsons Reality. Unfortunately couldn't get a picture of is cause we passed by it before I could get camera out. Maybe I'm really a Minnesotan not a Michigander!

VACATION TIMES IN WORKS

Boy planning a vacation takes a lot of time, thought and work. But, it is so worth it when you finally get to take it.

Again Almost Two Months Have Passed

I remember when I was a young girl marveling at my Grandmother's statements about how fast time went by. For me at the time it seemed that the hours often dragged by. I just had no understanding of how what she was saying could be true. Well now I am approaching the age that she was when she wold make those observations on life and wow, now I get it.

I can't even begin to tell you what happened to May. It seems I went to sleep one night after we wrapped up and put away the quilt show and when I woke up it was June. What did I do in May? I'm not really sure. I know we went to a barbecue at some friends house over Memorial weekend, I did some work for Wohl Inc., and Jerry and I went to visit 8 embassies over on his birthday, but as for the rest of the month I'm not quite sure. But I am sure the month flew by.

So now it is June. This is the month of vacation planning. We will be taking a trip up to the UP of MI and from there camp our way across the UP into northern WI and on to northern MN. From there we will head down to Minneapolis to visit Stephanie in her new home. Then back into WI and a visit to the Dells and on home. Lots of miles to cover will high gas prices, but it is a much needed vacation. I just hope and pray that the weather will behave. I DO NOT do well camping in frigid evening temps. I am determined that I WILL have fun. Life is too short not to at this point. And if it is really cold maybe I can just go to sleep and wake up back in my own warm bed. The days on vacation having flown by like the rest of my life does at this point.

Major Focus Almost Over

A major focus of the first months of the year for me is preparing for our annual guild Quilt Show. This year has been no different. A difference this year is that I do not have anything hanging in the show itself. I just wasn't able to focus on finishing up anything worthy of the show. However I still am supporting it with my work fir the Guild Boutique and in co-chairing the Admissions area.
Putting on a show the size of ours takes a considerable amount of effort from a lot of people. There is some talk of not doing one next year. People are tired. I admit I am tired, but I'm not tired of working at the show, I'm not even tired of working to set up the show. Those are fun and exciting things. I'm tired of planning the show; tired of all those things that must go on during the 8 months prior to the weekend of the show.
Every year I say this will be my last, and every year I sign up to work on it again. If there wasn't to be a show in 2008 what would I miss the most? I would miss laughing and working beside my quilting friends. I'd miss the color and designs of the wonderful quilts my quilting friends make. But if I'm going to be brutally honest. What I would really miss the most is the opportunity to make money and help support my hobbies. I love to make things. I love to create all sorts of things, but I need to have money to support this love of crafting and sewing. And the only way I know to make that money is to sell things and the easiest place to sell them is at the guild boutique. Does that make me a bad person?

Time Flies Even When You're Not Having Fun!

Wow, its been a month and a half since I've been here on this blog. Not that anyone would notice!
Well since Dec 30 I've had an Aunt die, my mother-in-law died a week after that, two weeks later Jerry had an Aunt die, and a close family friend of my mom and dad's also died. Then the father of a co-worker died as well as assorted other people I know of....
On a brighter note, Stephanie got the job in Minneapolis at Target and has left CO and moved there. She exchanged lots of snow for lots of cold, but she seems very happy with the move.
Today is Jeremy's 24th birthday so I guess that is good.
Nate we haven't heard from for a while. I hope everything is well with him. It was a rough start to his last semester in school.
The time date for this post will show it's very early. I'm not sleeping well these nights. I want to cry, I want to scream. During the day I am so content and happy with life and then night falls and the darkness descends. Every failure in my life looms, work issues overwhelm, and I just want to be someone else. But who? Whoever I want to be it would be a person with no financial worries at home or at work, a person who has discovered how to make a living doing what she loves not what she has to do (or she loves what she has to do), It would be a person who loves fully and completely and who is secure in being loved fully and completely. Thankfully morning eventually comes and I am once again happy and content. Or am I?
Now if anyone shold happen to ever read this know these are the ravings of a sleep deprived women!