I remember my Grandmother telling me that as you grew older time went by faster and faster. As a young teen I was pretty sure she didn't know what she was talking about. Either that or she was crazy. In my world time seemed to move very very slowly. Now that I am the age my grandmother was when she imparted her wisdom to me I can see its truth!
I can't believe it has been a year since I visited and wrote in this online journal. Much has happened in this year and yes the time has literally flew by. Most notable is I have once again moved. This time into a home I purchased on my own. 10 years ago if you had asked me, would I ever own my own home, I probably would have laughed. It was not on the time line of my planned life. Yet here I am. 2014 and I am a divorced single woman living on her own in a house she owns on her own. Life does have a way of surprising you with twists and turns you never imagined or hoped for.
So what brought me back here after a year? I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I don't really have anyone to talk to or anyone to listen to my thoughts and this is the place where I used to do my thinking and talking so I guess I'm back.
One of the things I have been thinking about lately is why I spend so much time posting things on Facebook. I post silly little things like what is going on with the weather, what I might be thinking about doing for dinner, or needing to speak of silly frustrations in my life. I'm sure there are people who think WHY? I think the "why" is because by posting what I am doing or what I am thinking about on Facebook I can at least pretend to myself that someone else cares about what I am feeling and thinking. I can pretend there is someone, somewhere, who cares about what is going on in my life. Oh, I know I have some friends and family who care about me, but they have lives of their own that they deal with on a daily basis. They are good for the "big" things in life, but sometimes I just need to feel someone knows about and cares about the little things. That's something a spouse or partner does. I don't have either of those nor do I expect to ever have one again. At least statistically the odds are against it. I had my chance and I blew it. So I turn to social media. It at least gives me a voice and I can speak what is on my mind. I don't even need a response, though they are very nice. I just need to get my thoughts out rather than keep them locked up.
When I started this BLOG Facebook was just starting up. I wasn't involved with it yet. This was my journal. A place I could share my thoughts with anyone who wanted to listen. A place I could return to and look back to see what I had been thinking or involved with in the past. I miss that. I've missed recording a year of my life. That year was full of milestones. It was full of joys and full of tears. Unfortunately I can't revisit those events or thoughts because I didn't take time to record them. I think I want to get back to writing.
2014 is almost half over and it seems it just began. I guess Grandma was correct. I know there will be more good times and more bad times. I want to be able to look back on them at a later time so I will try to come back here more often, I don't even care if anyone else is interested. This is for me. If I want to pretend someone cares I will continue to post short thoughts and events on Facebook.