It was quilt show weekend for me.Our local quilt guild has been working for months to prepare for this show. I've been with various shows for too many years to count without bringing to mind how old I have become. This is always an exciting time for me. I love to make things. I love to see what others make. I love sharing in this experience with friends I have made through the years. I love making new friends during the show and sharing the excitement of the show with them. BUT.....this year I have discovered that the sharing with these friends, is not enough. Is that greedy of me to need more? If it is I guess I am a greedy person. I miss sharing the joys of the show with one special person. After set up Thursday, after the opening day excitement, and Saturday after the excitement of seeing beautiful quilts there was an emptiness I did not expect.
This experience led me to do some thinking about the importance of sharing. I guess that as with many things in life the importance of sharing life's experiences varies from one person to another. I am discovering that for me it is more important than I ever realized.
My reflections on sharing led me to do a Google search on it to get some others thoughts. At first I began looking to find a basic definition. Instead, I ended up at a site with peoples ideas and quotes from them on it. They were quite interesting as many of them put into words much of what I was feeling. There was one that jumped out. I suddenly felt not so alone. Someone else had felt what I was. They must have or they couldn't have so perfectly put into words what I have been avoiding facing.....
"I miss you when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry because you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear, I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life."
Maybe over time the need for having a special someone to share with diminishes. I must admit though that I find that possibility a rather sad one. Something deep inside me still says life was meant to be shared. A life lived alone can be a good life, I'm sure but is it a full life? Maybe this is just wishful thinking on my part. Maybe it is just my not yet being totally willing to let go of a dream for how my life would be lived out. After all there are many people; many of them friends of mine who seem to have very full lives living solo. I don't know. What I do know is this weekend I missed someone who when I arrived home after a long day at the show greeted me with "How was the show today?"