Time Flies Even When You're Not Having Fun!

Wow, its been a month and a half since I've been here on this blog. Not that anyone would notice!
Well since Dec 30 I've had an Aunt die, my mother-in-law died a week after that, two weeks later Jerry had an Aunt die, and a close family friend of my mom and dad's also died. Then the father of a co-worker died as well as assorted other people I know of....
On a brighter note, Stephanie got the job in Minneapolis at Target and has left CO and moved there. She exchanged lots of snow for lots of cold, but she seems very happy with the move.
Today is Jeremy's 24th birthday so I guess that is good.
Nate we haven't heard from for a while. I hope everything is well with him. It was a rough start to his last semester in school.
The time date for this post will show it's very early. I'm not sleeping well these nights. I want to cry, I want to scream. During the day I am so content and happy with life and then night falls and the darkness descends. Every failure in my life looms, work issues overwhelm, and I just want to be someone else. But who? Whoever I want to be it would be a person with no financial worries at home or at work, a person who has discovered how to make a living doing what she loves not what she has to do (or she loves what she has to do), It would be a person who loves fully and completely and who is secure in being loved fully and completely. Thankfully morning eventually comes and I am once again happy and content. Or am I?
Now if anyone shold happen to ever read this know these are the ravings of a sleep deprived women!